Keanu Reeves.

VIEWER’S CHOICE
Dead bodies and selfies—on the surface, they don’t have a lot in common. But thanks to artist Jeremy Millar, we’ve found an unlikely link. As part of “Self,” a group show of self-portraiture at London’s Turner Contemporary, Millar’s sculpture Self-Portrait as a Drowned Man (The Willows) is a decidedly creepy look at the one state in which we will never be able to observe or portray ourselves: dead. For more on the show and a conversation with the artist, see Artist Displays Dead Body as Part of “Selfie” Exhibition.

OLD MASTERS
Despite what you may have heard about Old Masters sales getting sexed up by auction houses eager to borrow some of the glitz of the contemporary art market, Wednesday marked Christie’s worst January Old Masters sale in over a decade. Just how bad was it? Well, a painting promoted as possibly Caravaggio’s first failed to find a buyer, as did works by Pieter Brueghel II, Canaletto, Pieter Claesz., Guido Reni, and Theodoor Rombouts. For the full report (and some insight into the reasons for the flop), read Canaletto, Caravaggio Fail to Sell at Christie’s Worst Old Masters Sale Since 2002.

HIPSTERS 
artnet News snagged an exclusive clip from the upcoming season of Portlandia, which features storied street artist Shepard Fairey as an employee of a store called “Shocking Art Supplies,” where art students can find “pre-smashed” television sets, “upside-down flags,” stencils, and doll parts. You know, shocking things. To make shocking art with. To watch the clip, check out Take an Exclusive Look at Shepard Fairey’s Portlandia Cameo.

TRAGEDY
Police in the Dutch city of Groningen shot and killed a man who tried to stab passersby with two large meat cleavers outside the Groninger Museum. The man fled the police, who shot him as he jumped into a canal. He is not known to have any affiliations with terrorist organizations. For more on the incident, see Man Killed in Attack on Art Museum.

EGOMANIA 
French art star Loris Gréaud’s buzzed-about exhibition at Dallas Contemporary was eclipsed by the artist’s own idiocy when he sent Lauren Smart, an art critic who panned the show, a rude, sexist email riddled with typos and misspellings. He urges Smart to “study a bit litterature, study A LOT art history and art after the 20 century (you’ll be amaze) obiviousely ill higly recommand…a boyfriend with at least 400mg Anadrol a day.” Right. Because a boyfriend on steroids will surely improve her critical acumen. To read the rest, visit Loris Gréaud Tells Critic She’s Undersexed and Ignorant.

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