In brief

Art World Missed Connections: MoMA Voyeur, and More

2014-august-5-the-voyeur

Salvador Dalí, The Voyeur (circa 1921).
Photo: Wikipaintings.

As the mercury rises and passions follow suit, we return to the missed connections section of Craigslist to discover a trove of art-related postings, including a portentous locking of eyes at a MoMA PS1 Warm Up party, a fetching gallery art handler, a creepy MoMA neighbor pulling a Rear Window, and more. Let’s begin in Midtown, with the creepy stalker.

Seemingly not realizing how creepy he’s being, the author of “Moma office – m4w (Midtown)” recounts the fruits of his spying:

 I see a very pretty lady in the office building next to my apartment building. You’re on the second floor from the top and you often have a white coffee cup at your desk. I believe you work for moma. If I’ve caught your eye outside your window, say hello =) tell me something about me so I know it’s you. Hope we get a chance to talk, maybe you need a coffee refill

Two words: Restraining order.

Meanwhile, in the East Village, a far more polite fellow picked up a gallery postcard that a woman dropped, but his admitted disinterest in art probably prevented him from making a lasting impression. The resulting post, “You dropped an art gallery postcard… – m4w (East Village),” reads:

…and I returned it to you, prompting you to remark that it was a sign that you should really look into that artist’s work.

Personally, I think it was a sign that we should have continued chatting about art a while longer… but alas, I was on an important call at the time, which you may have gathered from the earbuds in my ears and the semi-confused expression on my face.

(Okay, I’ll admit: I don’t even much care about art. I would have been just as happy talking to you about the sidewalk we were standing on!)

Next time you want someone to take you seriously, Romeo, try taking your earbuds out.

Across town in Chelsea, a gallery-goer looked right past the art and fell for an art handler on 26th Street. Crucially, his post “Gallery Handler – baseball cap – m4m – 29 (Chelsea)” leaves out the most important detail, namely which gallery the handler worked for. We’ll never know if this handsome hatter is employed by James Cohan, Lehmann Maupin, Robert Miller, Mitchell-Innes & Nash, Claire Oliver, or another of the block’s biggest tenants. All we have to go on is this:

You were on 26th Street today moving art. You were in black jeans and a baseball cap – we passed each other a few times and smiled, later waved. Let’s meet!

And, lastly, as happens every summer, MoMA PS1’s summer party series results in a major spike in art world missed connections. This week, it’s “We kept locking eyes at PS1 Warm Up – w4m (long island city)“:

I was standing a few feet away from you at PS1. You were wearing a grey shirt and black pants and dancing with those two gay guys. We kept looking at each other and smiling. I wanted to walk up to you but my friend was talking to two other guys. We finally walked away to get rid of them but when I came back to find you you were already gone.

I was the black girl in the printed dress. I really hope you see this and reach out. I’d love to get to know you.

Moral of the story: Don’t leave a MoMA PS1 Warm Up party early.