Just a friendly reminder that even though Miami Beach is the land of sun-tanned beach babes and bros, heels, short hemlines, and big hair, gaffes like these will only induce cringing.

 

1. “If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.”

2. “Call the Art Loss Register, ’cause you just stole my heart.”

4. “If I told you your body looked like the Met’s Aphrodite, would you hold it against me?”

4.”You’re so fine you could make an impression on Monet.”

5. “Sorry for staring, I thought your face was a work of art.”

6. “If I were an art critic, I’d give you a ravishing review.”

7. “I’d like to add you to my itinerary…in between V, I, and P.”

8. “Are you an antiques collector? Because I have some junk that hasn’t been touched in years.”

9. “How about you and me go out by the pool and brush up on our strokes?”

 

Go to artnet News’s Art Basel in Miami page for the latest coverage, including:

10 Ridiculous But True Rules For Navigating Art Basel in Miami Beach

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