Donald Trump Is Not Going to Make Sylvester Stallone NEA Chairman, Right?

Stallone has called Trump 'a great Dickensian character.'

Portrait of American actor Sylvester Stallone as he mimes punching businessman Donald Trump on the chin at a charity event (for lupus) held at Bud and Marla Paxon's home, Palm Beach, Florida, February 24, 1997. Photo by Davidoff Studios/Getty Images.

A completely unconfirmed rumor from the Daily Mail has it that unnamed “sources” are saying that Donald Trump is considering Expendables star Sylvester Stallone for head of the National Endowment for the Arts.

The sourcing on the Mail story is thinner than the Donald’s skin. At any rate, here are the opening lines:

Donald Trump has drawn ‘first blood’ in the search for his incoming administration’s senior arts role—by tapping up Rambo legend Sylvester Stallone.

Sources have told DailyMail.com the president-elect sees Hollywood icon Stallone as the perfect choice to make art great again.

The likely position would be Chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts, a federal agency that doles out funds to aspiring artists and creative projects.

If Stallone is formally offered that job, his appointment will have to be approved by Congress.

Here is exactly how the conversation in the office about this rumor unfolded:

WRITER 1: If true, that would be a tragedy.

WRITER 2: There is no way that is not FAKE NEWS!

WRITER 3: How can you say that after the last few cabinet picks??

WRITER 2: But why on earth would Rocky decide to become a government bureaucrat?

WRITER 4:  Well, you wouldn’t think a reality TV star would end up as president, either…

And the great debate about the nature of our new reality, and how to cover it, goes on.

The President Elect’s cabinet choices have so far been parody proof, as has been much remarked.

The Daily News piece goes on to quote a recent Variety interview with Stallone as proof of their close relationship, noting that in it the actor hints at political ambitions. Politically, Stallone has been most vocal about supporting Israel, signing a letter denouncing the cultural boycott movement and fundraising for the Friends of the Israel Defense Forces.

Here’s Stallone on Trump:

I love Donald Trump. He’s a great Dickensian character. You know what I mean? ‘There are certain people like Arnold, Babe Ruth, that are bigger than life. But I don’t know how that translates to running the world.

Not exactly an unqualified endorsement, but close enough for horseshoes. We’re racking our brains as to which “Dickensian” character the guy has in mind.

These rumors spread fast, so we’ll just say that Stallone as NEA head is more an out-there “what-if” scenario than anything else, we’re thinking. Though, keep in mind, Stallone himself has lately been devoting himself studiously to his painting career, is known as an art collector who owns works by Bacon and Monet, and even recently declared that “Nothing’s better than art” in an Instagram selfie video. That’s not a joke.

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