Horny Satan Statue Causes Panic, Confusion in Canada

Vancouver's Satan statue. Photo: Jeremy Hunka, courtesy Global News.
Vancouver's Satan statue. Photo: Jeremy Hunka, courtesy Global News.

Nothing starts the weekend off right like some sexually explicit occult statuary, am I right? The city of Vancouver, for its part, would disagree, having quickly taken down an illegally erected statue (pun intended) of an aroused Satan, reports (who else?) BuzzFeed.

The large, red sculpture of a horned, yellow-eyed, well-endowed devil appeared earlier this week on a pedestal alongside Vancouver’s Grandview Highway that, until 10 years ago, featured a far less controversial statue of Christopher Columbus.

With its large, erect penis (see below, NSFW), the piece is basically the demon spawn of Korea’s boner Spider-Man, Poland’s peeing Lenin, and Oklahoma’s Satanic courthouse monument (see “New Polish Fountain Portrays a Peeing Vladimir Lenin” and “Satanic Temple Monument Almost Ready for Oklahoma Statehouse“).

Vancouver's Satan statue. Photo: courtesy Global News.

Vancouver’s Satan statue.
Photo: Global News.

Despite its impressive pedigree, the statue’s satanic reign didn’t last long, as city officials stepped in quickly, hiring workers to haul it away. “The statue was not a piece of City commissioned artwork and consequently it has been removed,” explained city spokesperson Sara Couper to Global News.

One of the workers tasked with the statue’s removal called the artwork “bizarre,” telling Fortress America he was “gonna have nightmares.”

Vancouver's Satan statue. Photo: Jeremy Hunka, courtesy Global News.

Vancouver’s Satan statue.
Photo: Jeremy Hunka, courtesy Global News.

That is not to say the statue is without its fans: over 2,000 of them have already signed the online petition “Bring the Giant Satan-With-an-Erection Statue Back to East Vancouver,” which calls the free artwork an improvement on a porcelain poodle recently installed by the city for close to $100,000. (The dog sculpture, for its part, has expressed envy for the anatomical porwess of the “Giant Beelzebub-With-a-Boner” on its Twitter account.)

In other sexualized statue news, a teenage boy is facing criminal charges for the “Desecration of a Venerated Object” in Pennsylvania, reports KRON 4. In late July, the boy posed in photos with a kneeling Jesus statue, simulating oral sex. The sculpture is located outside the Everett, Pennsylvania organization Love in the Name of Christ.

Teen poses in a sexually suggestive manner with Jesus statue. Photo: Kron 4.

Teen poses in a sexually suggestive manner with Jesus statue.
Photo: KRON 4.

Under state law, “defacing, damaging, polluting or otherwise, physically mistreating in a way that the actor knows will outrage the sensibilities of persons likely to observe or discover the action” is illegal. If convicted, the teen could face up to two years in juvenile detention.


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