It’s no secret that scoring a coveted Art Basel VIP card is a Herculean task mastered only by true art-world greats and majorly moneyed collectors. The only thing more difficult? Making sure you’re on the list for all of the week’s most exclusive dinners and parties. We’ve assembled a list of some of the week’s hottest tickets, but beware: Unless your name’s on the list (and sometimes, even if it is), you’re unlikely to make it past the iPad-wielding door attendant. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Monday, November 30:

1. Bosco Sodi Celebratory Dinner
Art collectors and hotel owners Paul and Dayssi Kanavos and art advisor Kim Heirston are hosting a private dinner party to celebrate Bosco Sodi‘s newly commissioned work for the Shelborne Wyndham Grand hotel.
8 PM at the Shelbourne Wyndham Grant. Invitation only. 

2. Surface Magazine Dinner Honoring Jorge Pérez: 
Miami real estate developer Jorge M. Pérez is the guest of honor at this ultra-exclusive dinner and party hosted by design mag Surface and watchmaker Girard-Perregaux. The event boasts a “confidential post-dinner performance,” according to a press release.
7 PM at PAMM. Invitation only. 

Jorge M. Pérez with Wyclef Jean at the Surface Magazine Dinner at the Pérez Art Museum Miami honoring Jorge M. Pérez with a special performance by Wyclef Jean. Photo: courtesy BFA.

Tuesday, December 1: 

3. “Unrealism” Opening: 
While the opening of Larry Gagosian and Jeffrey Deitch’s “Unrealism” exhibition is technically open to the public, we’d be shocked if there wasn’t a massive line to get inside—perhaps even one of Vito Schnabel “First Show/Last Show” proportions. After all, its not every day that two of the biggest names in the art world join forces to present a veritable “who’s who” of the art world today (we’re talking everyone from Jamian Juliano-Villani to David Salle).
Opening reception from 5–8 PM at the Moore Building. Exhibition on view until December 6. Open to the public. 

4. MANA Contemporary VIP Dinner
MANA Contemporary is hosting an exclusive dinner (Zaha Hadid, Dasha Zhukova, and Salman Rushdie feature on the media “tip sheet”) to preview several new exhibitions at Mana’s recently completed 30-acre campus in the Wynwood arts district. The evening will also include a special performance by the Miami Symphony Orchestra.
6–8 PM at the Mana Wynwood Convention Center. Invitation only.

5. Locust Projects Celebrates “Martha Friedman: Pore”:
Non-profit exhibition space Locust Projects is hosting a cocktail celebration for Martha Friedman’s new site-specific installation Pore, which features four sculptures created from 1,000 pounds of colored rubber representing the four temperaments. The sculptures are attached to costumes that will be activated during an experimental performance by dancer Silas Reiner.
7–10 PM at Locust Projects. Performance starts at 8 PM. Invitation only. 

6. Galerie Gmurzynska Dinner: 
Galerie Gmurzynska is hosting a cocktail dinatoire with Germano Celant and Sylvester Stallone that’s sure to be an elegant and star-studded experience.
8:30 PM at 1116 Ocean Drive. Invitation only. 

7. Unveiling of Faena Hotel Miami Beach:
Billed as an “intimate celebration,” this exclusive shindig celebrates the new Faena Hotel Miami Beach, owned by art collector, developer, and hotelier Alan Faena. One of the hottest tickets of the week, we imagine there will be a crowd of people clamoring to get in, so we suggest you get there on time—if you’re on the list, that is.
10:30 PM at Faena Hotel. Invitation only. 

Paul Anderson, Milla Jovovich, Francesco Vezzoli, and Courtney Love at Francesco Vezzoli “The Gore Vidal Trilogy” opening. Photo: Stefanie Keenan/Patrick McMullan.

Wednesday, December 2: 

8. Taste What’s Next Dinner presented by Bon Appetit and Volvo:
Bon Appetit magazine and Volvo are hosting an intimate, 50-person dinner with a menu by Michelin-starred chef Fredrik Berselius, whose hotly anticipated new restaurant will open next year in Brooklyn. Multimedia artist Chris Doyle will also unveil a new digital animation work.
7:30 PM at MAPS Backlot. Invitation only.

9. Celebration for Francesco Vezzoli’s Ossessione Vezzoli: 
Francesco Vezzoli has been a busy guy. A few weeks ago, he produced Performa’s opening night performance. Now, Ossessione Vezzoli, a film about the artist and his work directed by Alessandra Galletta, makes its national premiere during Miami madness. This celebration, which is hosted by Interview magazine, UTA Fine Arts, and Tiffany & Co. is a safe bet in terms of places to potentially spot members of Vezzoli’s coterie of celebrity pals. We’re hoping for a Gaga sighting, to be honest.
6-9 PM at the Nautilus Hotel. Invitation only.

10. Sean Kelly x Chrome Hearts Party:
Sean Kelly Gallery is teaming up with jewelry label Chrome Hearts and Laduree (makers of the prettiest and most delicious macarons ever) to host an intimate cocktail party in celebration of the gallery’s exhibition at Chrome Hearts’s Miami Design District location, featuring work by Kehinde Wiley, José Dávila, and others. You can find us by the dessert table.
8 PM at Chrome Hearts Miami. Invitation only.

11. MoMA Design Store Presents “The Skateroom”: 
The MoMA Design Store is collaborating with the Andy Warhol Foundation on a pop-up installation and shop at the Delano hotel featuring limited-edition Warhol skateboard decks.
8–11 PM at the Delano South Beach. Invitation only. 

12. The Art Basel 2015 Dinner and Party
Artist Domingo Zapata is hosting “The Art Basel 2015,” a group exhibition presented by Love Fashion Art New York, Haute Living magazine, and Superga. Actor Adrien Brody will debut a new painting series called “Hotdogs, Hamburgers and Handguns” at the event, which features a seated dinner and afterparty.
7 PM dinner, 10 PM party at Lulu Laboratorium. Invitation only. 

Dree Hemingway and Dev Hynes. Photo: Patrick McMullan.

Thursday, December 3: 

13. Absolut Elyx and Water for People Charity Event 
Not everything at Art Basel is about conspicuous consumption: Absolut Elyx, Sean Kelly Gallery, Paddle8 co-founder Alexander Gilkes, and art collector Jerome Sans are joining forces on a fundraiser for Water for People, a non-profit organization that helps provide clean drinking water to people around the world. The evening will feature barbecue, bespoke cocktails, an art auction, and the opportunity to view a new sculpture by Antony Gormley.
7–10 PM at the Delano South Beach. Invitation only. 

14. PAMM Presents: Dimensions, by Devonté Hynes and Ryan McNamara
Devonté Hynes and Ryan McNamara are hosting an exclusive, one-night-only performance at the Perez Art Museum Miami (PAMM). The evening will feature an immersive, site-specific performance including a musical compostion by Hynes that will spread across the museum’s expansive terrace. Given the rave reviews McNamara’s 2014 Art Basel performance enjoyed, we’d say this isn’t one to miss.
9–12 PM at PAMM. Invitation only. 

15. Valentino Celebrates Pietro Ruffo
Valentino’s Miami Design District outpost will host a cocktail soiree in celebration of Mirabilia Romae, an on-site installation by Italian artist Pietro Ruffo. The fashion folks are sure to be out in full force for this one.
7–9 PM at Valentino. Invitation only. 

Laure Heriard Dubreuil and Chelsea Leyland. Photo: Patrick McMullan.

Friday, December 4: 

16. Wine and Grind: Art Basel 
Jack Shainman Gallery‘s annual Art Basel parties are always a chill way to unwind on Friday night, and this year’s should be no exception. They’ve partnered with culture website Saint Heron on a wine-soaked extravaganza that lasts into the wee hours.
9 PM–2 AM at the Surfcomber. By invitation only. 

17. Surface Magazine’s Art Basel Miami Beach Closing Party:
Alex Israel, Bret Easton Ellis, Hans Ulrich Obrist, Bettina Korek, and Marc Lotenberg are the big-name hosts for Surface magazine’s late-night closing party. Sure, the fair will be open until Sunday, but we all know the real VIPs skip town before then to recover from the week’s festivities.
11 PM at W South Beach. Invitation only. 

Rose McGowan, Bret Easton Ellis. Photo: Mike Garnder/Patrick McMullan.