SkyMall Is Bankrupt! Buy This Cheesy Art Before It's Too Late
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Bigfoot Garden Yeti Statue, $129.95
"Ever wonder where those strange noises in your garden come from? With alleged Bigfoot sightings the world over, from the Himalayas to the Americas, this elusive, mythical legend has been captured for Toscano in a quality designer resin statue and hand-painted for startling realism. With his characteristically big feet, our more than two-foot-tall Garden Yeti Statue will have guests doing a double-take as they admire your creative decor style! Our Bigfoot, the Garden Yeti sculpture commands a unique presence in home or garden."
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Voice Art Sound Wave Artwork, $75–855
"Voice Art is 100% personalized artwork created by your sound waves. You can transform your favorite saying into a masterpiece, ready to hang on the wall for you and others to admire. It's the worlds most sentimental art, 100% you and your message. It's the perfect place to say 'I Love You,' 'Happy Anniversary,' or even display your baby's heartbeat!"
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Custon Pet Portrait Canvas, $49–89.95
"Double takes will abound when your dog or cat is posed as a 17th-century noble. Upload any color photo, and our computer artists will give your pet a regal bearing and transfer the image onto canvas. Please specify male or female portrait."
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Reflective Gaze Hand Mirror Wall Sculpture, $99.95
"'Who's the fairest of them all' is bound to get the right answer in this delightful sculpture reflecting your sparkling taste! As fit for a princess as for a gallery wall, this gaggle of metal-framed glass mirrors with antique bronze finish stretches almost a yard square to present itself as a whimsical and fun-loving Basil Street Gallery work for the wall."
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DaVinci Hand-Crafted Easel, $125
"Position your favorite artwork or family portrait in a place of instant honor! Our handsome, wooden easel lends an elegant Baroque sensibility to your decor and easily positions your piece in its best light. Rising over 5-1/2 feet tall to its elaborate crown, the DaVinci boasts a generous 4-1/2-inch-deep display shelf to comfortably hold pieces over two feet wide and up to a yard tall. Makes a stunning, never-duplicated gift!"
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Wing of Icarus Sculptural Metal Wall Frieze, $125
"This amazingly intricate sculpt of hand-hammered and polished metal breathes the tale of mythological Icarus, whose wax and feather wings melted, causing him to fall into the sea. Immortalized in this splendid, three-foot-wide gallery-quality wall sculpture, each intricate detail of the arched feathers are captured in a 2-1/2" release that boasts a breathtakingly beautiful verdigris bronze finish."
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The Peacock Goddess Illuminated Sculpture, $99.95
"While there's an enchanting mythological thread of legend between the stately peacock and the fair goddess, this is the first time we've seen it rendered in sculptural form! Rich with the abundance of the Art Nouveau era, this 15-inch dancing duo unfolds in a sparkling, iridescent shimmer of tiny, faux jewels. Cast in quality designer resin and finished in faux French bronze, our Toscano exclusive accepts your single, 25-watt candle bulb and is illuminated by switch on cord."
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The Illumicube, $129.95
"This clear acrylic cube is filled with 64 multi-colored LEDs that systematically illuminate in millions of different combinations, producing a mesmerizing light show. The LEDs generate 4,096 different colors and they illuminate in unison or in succession with the same or contrasting colors, creating a continuous cycle of visually captivating light patterns. All 64 LEDs may emit a vibrant crimson hue and then slowly fade to magenta, each row may illuminate in succession to create waves of rolling light, or the LEDs may light-up one at a time to produce a flaring, twirling light streak. The LEDs last up to 100,000 hours."
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Zombie of Montclaire Moors, $99.95
"We challenged artist Alan Dickinson to create his most macabre, haunting zombie statue exclusively for Toscano—and he certainly delivered! Not for the faint of heart, this gray-toned Zombie of Montclaire Moors statue will claw his way out of your garden plot, office, or family room corner, pleading for assistance with the eeriest eyes you've ever seen. Captured in meticulous detail in quality designer resin and finished so realistically that you'll swear you can hear him groaning!"
It’s a sad, sad day. SkyMall, that beloved in-flight catalogue of the most absurd, least useful products known to man, which has helped countless bored airline passengers get through tedious delays on the tarmac for 25 years, has filed for bankruptcy.
The catalogue’s downfall, inevitably, was the Internet: with travelers free to use smartphones and on-board wireless, the allure of shopping for absurd gewgaws had dwindled, leaving SkyMall unable to compete with its retail competitors.
What will life be like in the post-SkyMall era, without a place to buy shirts with a variety of slogans based on the name Bob, or that travel pillow designed to fit on your tray table? One stop shopping for overly sentimental jewelry, every piece of pet furniture you could possibly imagine, smart watches, special gloves just for drinking beer, and of course, ridiculous art, will be gone, almost overnight.
To commemorate this sad occasion, artnet News has scoured the SkyMall website for the weirdest, funniest artworks offered by the late company. Forget those Andy Warhol Converse sneakers (see Converse x Andy Warhol Coming in February or that placenta art (see New Parents Turn Kids’ Umbilical Cords into Art). In terms of out-there artwork, SkyMall has them all beat. Buy these gems before it’s too late.
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