Welcome to Wet Paint in the Wild, the freewheeling—and free!—spinoff of Artnet News Pro’s beloved Wet Paint gossip column, where we give art-world insiders a disposable camera to chronicle their lives on the circuit. To read the latest Wet Paint column, click here (members only).

Here are my pictures taken in New York from March 12 through March 17, Los Angeles (for my show at Night Gallery, “Love Apple”) from March 17 through 29, and then back to New York for one picture of a guy playing pool. Enjoy!

Congratulations Ser [Serpas], I love it. If you can’t tell, this is a pic of her installation at the 2024 Whitney Biennial.

We went to Ear Inn after the Whitney opening. I recently learned why it’s called Ear Inn and was telling someone who laughed and laughed…

Camilla Deterre and Obie Russon in Clandestino’s backyard. 

Sarah Brown hugging her way into line @ Jamian Juliano-Villani’s opening. 

J J-V at Gagosian, ladies and gentlemen. Tremendous, folks, just tremendous. 

You can’t tell and I can’t talk about it, but this dinner was intense. Basically, is all Cava sparkling? And who cares!

Tristian, Zans, Olivia, and Jeffrey at O’Flaherty’s. Very cute. Who would survive the longest in a ‘Saw’ situation? 

This guy!!! (We are now at “Gonzo”)

Dean Kissick!!!!!! Hello Dean.

Now we’re in LA. This is a picture of Michael Heizer’s ‘Levitated Mass’ (the LACMA rock) but you couldn’t’ve known that. 

Los Angeles is always frightening, but this trip was particularly scary. It must have been mating season cause the birds were shrieking and when the sun sets not only does the sky become ^^^ magenta but all the flowers get cooked (sun = closer to earth) and so everything reeks of jasmine and sage and I can physically feel the psychic spies from China trying to steal my mind’s elation.

My father reading the Sports Section!

Ezra [Marcus] reading the Horses menu! Amazing food btw. 

Taken from the balcony of my hotel room where I yelled down to ask if the pool was heated and was told “This is a water feature” so I said “Is it heated?” and he said, “It’s supposed to bring peace and tranquility to our guests.” 

Never did find out if that thing was heated!

Starting install for my show LOVE APPLEEEEleleleEEE. I made way too many paintings. “Good problem” they say.

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Please sir no photos.

Here we are doing the classic calculus of like ‘how many drinks can I have before driving home’ +/- ‘how long are we hanging out’ +/- ‘where is everyone driving’.

Here I am being driven to my opening, so soo happy.

Brian [Faucette] shows us the napping couch. We hide for a minute.

My four parents. Very cute. Trying to write something about how far the apple does/does not fall from the tree.

Iris [Alonzo] used to shoot me for American Apparel when I was ~16 (the photos were very age-appropriate!!) Hadn’t seen her since then. Was thrilled to introduce her to my mom, who’d drive me to the factory, white-knuckling past other AA billboards of women in thongs.

Tony!!!!! [Chrenka]

Post show dinner!!! I believe Ser is saying “exactlyyy.” After we went to Edendale. No photos. 

The morning after opening, smiling while sleeping — very happy. Not to be so ‘Perfectly Imperfect’ but if you don’t have a good silk sleeping mask you really are missing out. Get one that velcros around your head, not the skinny elastic band type.

Morning after opening pancakes. 

Spent the rest of the day in this hot tub. More friends joined and we ordered from a place called ‘Spicy BBQ.’ I’m always skeptical of a place with BBQ in the name but this food rocked. Get the Northern Thai Sausage if you ever go. Now that I think about it, this was a perfect day.

Now we’re in Laguna Beach for Camila’s birthday. Went to a bar called like Dirty Dog Dicks or The Jumping Bug. We melted candles onto a beer bottle and sang Happy Birthday at midnight. Then we played this ^^^ incredible game of darts.

Saw Brad’s show at Gaylord (*****) then Joseph [Geagan] again later that night at some kind of costume party.

Back in NY. Playing pool. Goodbye. I love you!