If you’re looking for something active to do this weekend, head to Garis & Hahn, where with just the throw of a dart on a painted canvas, you can plot the movie version of your life.

Zefrey Throwell’s witty text paintings can provide you with answers to all of the big questions: how you will die (options include being stabbed in a Starbucks bathroom or passing away under the stars in your lover’s arms); what you will be arrested for (doing ecstasy with your fraternity brothers or for a failed suicide from which you awaken cuffed to a hospital bed); and of course, the underlying motivation for it all (one option is consecotaleophobia, or the fear of chopsticks).

Zefrey Throwell, Cinema Puzzle #1 (2015).
Photo: Courtesy of Garis & Hahn.

We witnessed a couple of visitors narrowly missing a dart to the face during the show’s opening, so if you don’t have great aim, perhaps stick to the other half of Throwell’s paintings, which ask viewers to guess the plots of famous films based on dramatic but surprisingly vague descriptions.

Don’t bother asking gallery owners Mary Garis and Sophie Hahn (see 14 Young New York Art Dealers To Watch) for hints, either—they’re under strict orders not to give away anything about the paintings until you really, really try to get it on your own.

Zefrey Throwell, Who Are You…(Character) (2015). Detail shot.
Photo: Courtesy of Garis & Hahn.

If you’re still not feeling fulfilled by Throwell’s droll deconstruction of the film industry, there’s also a pornographic BDSM video entitled Lets Stay In Tonight, Honey, which visitors must watch through a peephole.

We know what you’re thinking: porn and darts in one gallery show? But the physical beauty and thoughtful nature of Throwell’s canvases deftly keep the show from feeling too much like the basement of a frat house.

Zefrey Throwell, “Plotting” is on display at Garis & Hahn from April 2–May 2, 2015.