Outwardly, Los Angeles projects an easy-going aura, backed by its abundance of swimming pools and tolerance for all-day athleisure. Below the Hockney-esque veneer, however, reality is much more complex. The days unfold according to an expert logic, with unforgiving rules for smoothly navigating friendships and the freeways. Angelenos are firmly set in unique concepts of time and space, where the ebb and flow of traffic can distort the passage of time and distance is measured by the minutes you’ll spend in the car.

Visitors rarely possess any of this hard-earned wisdom; they tend to suffer from what art-world publicist Darius Sabbaghzadeh calls a “geographic ignorance.” The result, he adds, is an insulting, or at least inconvenient, disruption to the city’s rhythms, like “being asked to go all over the damn place, or not giving things the proper order in which they should happen.”

Ahead of Frieze L.A. this year, when many of its projected 30,000 visitors will be coming from out of town, Artnet News asked a handful of Left Coasters to help generate a list of rookie mistakes—paired with extremely practical advice for avoiding them. Below is a how-to guide for respecting local etiquette during the fairs, plus bonus tips to maximize your time in the city that never sleeps in.

Traffic streams along the San Bernardino Freeway in downtown Los Angeles on Thanksgiving getaway day on Wednesday, Nov. 24, 2021. Photo: Luis Sinco/Los Angeles Times via Getty Images.

The Pitfalls of “Geographic Ignorance”

In a city like New York, you can check off your to-do list with amazing speed; what you need is often within a four-block radius, and if not, it’s perfectly normal to bounce between galleries downtown and museums uptown, then head to Brooklyn for a drink. Please, do not bring that energy to L.A.: The most frequently cited mistake was trying to cover too much ground too quickly. Here, the gallery districts in Culver City and Downtown respectively occupy the “West Side” and “East Side”—i.e., opposite ends of the planet. (Beverly Hills, the site of Frieze L.A. this year, is literally a different city.)

Don’t attempt to zip back and forth; that’s a fundamental misunderstanding of physics, and the human capacity to sit in traffic. And don’t ask East Side friends to meet you at the Getty Center at 10 a.m.; this is an invitation to drag themselves through the deepest trenches of rush hour. Rather than plan an “insane daily schedule,” Night Gallery’s Davida Nemeroff suggests, “Pick a neighborhood. Have one day for Downtown, one day for Mid-City, and one for West Hollywood.” If your punch list has five items on it, shave off three.

Pedestrians, Beware

“Rent a car,” adds Nemeroff. Our correspondents’ second-most cited mistake was visitors’ attempting to walk our deserted sidewalks, or no sidewalks at all. If you are walking, cling to the crosswalk—your life depends on it—and press the button at the intersection, or you will never, ever cross. Otherwise, grab your rental as soon as you touch down at Los Angeles International Airport, where getting an Uber or Lyft is now an extremely dysfunctional process called LAXit.

Kanye West hands his keys to a valet outside the Byredo boutique in Los Angeles, California, 2013. Photo: Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic.

Wheels and Deals

Driving affords glorious freedoms, like leaving when you want to and singing as loud as you please. With great freedom, however, comes great responsibility—namely the headache of finding parking. Most museums will have garages, and if you ask ahead, galleries might offer a spare spot in their alley. If not, prepare to circle the surrounding blocks, idling alongside strangers in parked cars to ask, “Coming or going?”

If there’s a valet, pull up to the entrance, put the car in park and leave the keys in the ignition. Make sure to tip the person who returns your car ($3 to $5 is good, and tip extra if they didn’t move your seat). And most importantly, steer clear of rush hour, when, twice a day, the normally 30-minute drive from Hauser & Wirth to Gagosian can swell to 90. Any plans made between 7 a.m. to 10 a.m. or 3 p.m. to 7 p.m. can be “brutal,” says School of the Art Institute of Chicago lecturer and Los Angeles native Tina Barouti. “For me,” she says, “8:30 p.m. is the sweet spot.” Keep in mind, the restaurant might close at 10.

Embrace a Less-Urgent Life     

When visiting friends text me, “Sorry, I’ll be there in five!” I find it so extremely charming, because I am still 15 minutes away. The L.A. cliché of lateness rings true for all kinds of reasons, including rush hour, parking, or a previous meeting that also started late. “Overestimate travel time, whether it’s for three or 300 blocks!” says

New Yorker and 52 Walker director Ebony L. Haynes. “You always need a buffer.” Although this is true, locals might advise differently: Accept that you’ll be late, they will be later, and time is more of a suggestion than a rule.

Kim Heirston and Arthur Lewis attend a Necessite + FRIEZE LA luncheon at a private residence on February 14, 2020, in Los Angeles, California. Photo: Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images for Kim Heirston.

Dress for the Weather You Have, Not the Weather You Want

Art parties here take place around all kinds of pools: at West Hollywood hotels; at galleries in rented mansions; and next to mini museums in collectors’ backyards. Don’t get too excited: the truth is, “Pools are for decoration,” says Alonzo Davis, artist and cofounder of the pathbreaking Brockman Gallery. It’s O.K. to leave your suit at home outside the summer months, although sunglasses are necessary year-round.

Another common sartorial mistake? “When visitors think it’s summer and don’t bring a jacket,” says Matthew Brown Gallery’s Brandy Carstens. Like a glowing James Turrell, the warmth of Los Angeles in February is a light-based illusion. Once the golden sun sinks below the horizon, a chill settles over the landscape, and I hope it doesn’t find you without a coat.

The Best Tacos Are Not in Restaurants

It might be a sweeping over-generalization to say that in L.A., ambience and quality of food are mutually exclusive. Really, though, restaurants with elaborate interior design are often akin to movie sets: they indulge in the fantasy of dining in a Mexican casita or Japanese shrine, and the food is just a prop. To find the best dining, “Don’t be basic,” says Commonwealth & Council’s Kibum Kim. “The best things in L.A. are not to be found in the center, but at the margins, and that applies to art and to food.”

Order tacos from the truck parked at the gas station, scoop red and green salsas into tiny cups, and tightly secure the lids. The under-sung hero of L.A. cuisine is Thai, and although I won’t disclose my favorite addresses, you can find the best spots in strip malls, ideally with bathrooms that double as storage closets.

303 Gallery’s booth at Frieze Los Angeles 2019. Photo by Mark Blower. Image courtesy of Mark Blower/Frieze.

Bonus Tips

It is always OK to cancel plans because it’s raining. No one will ever have a cigarette. Angelenos will only drive to LAX to retrieve blood relatives and significant others. And if you park in a garage, ask your destination venue if they validate. They’ll know what that means, even if you don’t.

“When you’re parking, you’ll see five signs on one pole saying there’s no parking from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m., then 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., then another saying you need a residential permit to park. Read those carefully, or you come back to a fat ticket.” —artist Lupe Rosales

“Wear sunscreen any time you leave the house, and do not leave without a water bottle. You need to hydrate constantly, but don’t drink from the tap.” —artist Nikita Gale

“Tap ‘Avoid Highways’ on your navigation app and swap the smoggy interstate panoramas for historic neighborhood architecture to learn the intricate hidden circuitry of L.A.’s kaleidoscopic web of hilly boroughs. Because, unlike most cities, in this town, every block—every house—is a new idea.” —Spring Break cofounder Ambre Kelly

“Hiking historic Will Rogers State Park gives you a vista of David O. Selznick’s hideaway; a mind-altering trail of eucalyptus trees; a polo field out of ‘What Price, Hollywood?’; and the mountains and the coast altogether in one view.” —Spring Break cofounder Andrew Gori

“You can wear stilettos all day and change outfits whenever you want, just keep a wardrobe in the car. The car also functions as protective armor. At the end of the day, your shoes and clothes are clean.” —curator and art historian Danielle Shang